By Mika Hartman
As humans, we often offer pats on the back, kiss away booboos, donate to causes to make us feel good, and grab tissues for heartwarming and heart wrenching infomercials. While these gestures may seem noble, we should ask ourselves if they truly make a difference.
Kissing away a hurt is meaningful for the individual in pain. However, it’s important to reassess our actions. The year 2025 offers a chance to focus on tangible support rather than just discussions. The world's needs are vast, and we should aim for actions that genuinely matter.
Time:
Hudson deserves your time. Spending time with a nonverbal child helps you learn their cues and communication styles. Hudson needs to feel comfortable and trust you, which takes time. Those who establish this bond with him enjoy the rewards of friendship. Engaging regularly and planning activities with him is crucial; your time means everything to our family.
Connection:
Children learn through play, and engaging them in fun activities helps build meaningful connections. This bond can develop through both verbal and nonverbal communication, like singing and imitating sounds.
We all crave love and connection. It’s a misconception that nonverbal children lack common ground for connection. Hudson loves Disney movies like Toy Story and Cars, riding bikes, and warm hugs. Taking the time to engage with him makes connecting effortless.
The Bible tells us to be neighborly, to love thy neighbor. This applies to all of His children. We are not created to be alone and Covid should be the only reminder we ever need.
Communication:
If you see us out, please talk directly to Hudson; avoid discussing him with me. He may not be verbal, but he communicates, hears, and can be vocal. I once made the mistake of addressing a parent instead of her child, which made me feel small when the parent had to relay my question to her child. I learned from that, and it’s an important part of personal growth.
Communication and speaking are not the same. Hudson understands and responds well to simple commands like “Eat ,” “Go to ,” and “Help.” He uses visual cards and an AAC device to express himself, and he communicates through actions. For example, he will go find his shoes if he wants to go outside, or he’ll lead his therapist to the door when he’s ready for her to leave and even grab her purse. Ha! Match, share, take and pair are all words he knows well and he proudly will do the work asked. Like all children, sometimes he will test you or know what you are going to ask before you can ask it. His being ornery is fantastic and expected.
Hudson is capable, fun, and smart. He shows his affection through touch, hugs, and kisses, all expressing that he loves you.
My struggle isn’t with Hudson or his needs but with people. I often hear supportive comments like “You’re so blessed,” but they can feel like side remarks rather than genuine invitations for connection.
Hudson deserves more than words; he needs friendships, acceptance, and inclusion. I advocate for changes that support families like ours, yet we sometimes miss invites to playdates or gatherings.
Although Hudson can be intimidating due to his medical needs, he needs your love and willingness to engage. Understanding a nonverbal child takes time and effort, but that investment can create meaningful relationships.
The Lucky Few Club always welcomes new members, and I’m here to support you on this journey. Feel free to ask questions; there are no silly inquiries. The only mistake is doing nothing. Be the change you want to see in the world by taking meaningful action, not just EXTRA talk.
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